I totally agree with that !
long explanation
My job, as a local retailer clerk, also involves a lot of discussions and debates, I hear various point of views all day long, I see people arguing (our shop is a bit special, people can sit down just to chat with the staff, neighbours, customers…).
However, I feel Internet has that incredible power of making people unaware of the weight of their words, and how it affects people who will read it. When you’re talking face to face with someone, you convey emotions, through your tone, your voice, your face, you react, that’s empathy, to the people around you, and you build your argument around those reactions as well. Empathy is core to arguments. Unfortunately, text doesn’t convey much of that, you don’t know my state of mind, am I angry, am I alone, do I weigh my words, do we have anything in common in our life to understand each other, is it important for me, am I fluent in the language I’m using and do I really understand the words I use… and worse, I don’t know how you will read it. And I think that’s where Internet becomes unsuitable.
I remember being member of a local facebook group. Knowing these characters from the street tints their messages with their own personality, their voice, their body language. And I easily forgive the borderline jokes, the misconceptions in their messages, because I know when we’re discussing those topics in the shop, or at the bar, the message gets fine-tuned by our reactions, the argument is friendly, and the voice doesn’t raise. You admit your limit, you get new jigsaw pieces and build along, with humility (most of the time, haha). But if you don’t know the person in real life, you will assume their character, their knowledge their position… you create an avatar out of faint clues, and I think many of us humans can’t help doing so. There are so many fights on the group, from people not knowing each other and misunderstanding where the other is talking from.
Thus, when I hear some very uneducated talks in my shop, I feel ok to answer to it, trying to kindly state some facts or call to empathy towards a situation someone might not fully understand and misjudge. But on the Internet, it takes crazy proportions all the time, words get over-analysed, sentences torn in every way, in a cold (yet heated) manner. Assuming our culture, our sensibility, our background is universal. What a misconception. It’s inhumane. And I feel fortunate to be reminded everyday that what I see on social networks, community boards, is hardly how people truly communicate. So I don’t think it’s totally wrong to hide what’s too disagreeable to you on Internet, especially when there’s nothing to gain, not a smile, not a clue, just noise, an unpleasant one.
That’s why I call it “noise cancelation”. And I don’t mind if someone decides to “noise-cancel” me, I’m not that important, I’m not your friend. And I’m still free to talk, and you’re still free to listen.
